So, yes, swimming appears to be my new outlet for anger. I suppose that it is better than other methods; drinking, smoking intensely or driving hell for leather and screaming along to songs (saying that, I do the latter regardless of the mood).
It's odd. I've mentioned this before, but I can imagine that it is the same for everyone growing up about how changes make us feel unsettled and unfamiliar. But, on the other hand (paw, fin...tail?), there are understandable changes, such as growing up and making a personality more solid, and then there are fuck-out-of-this-world changes that make you reel. I can't actually remember the last time that I felt like this. But, what is like this? Insecure? Angry? Scared? Or is it rejection of what is here? Is it self-rejection? I doubt it. I'm really hoping that it isn't anyway. I hope that things just progress out of this one mannerism and into another. Reserved to...well, frankly just selling yourself short? That's a change in someone that I wasn't expecting. Nor was I expecting to be branded as 'not really bothering'...
Well, fuck me. I apologise horrendously for having a job.
This is love for the beats
Steal it in the streets
Love for the melody, no song is cheap
The dope crusader, funky terminator
I created me a rocker just so we could rock it later
And the wait up beat is knocking
Got me feeling, alright, cause the dj got me walking on a steeler
I got a rocket full of gold, mami's just gold
I fill it up and love it, and then I watch it explode
If you love it like I love it
And you feel what I feel inside
If you want it like I want it
Then baby let's get it tonight
If you feel it, say hell yeah (hell yeah)
Say hell yeah (hell yeah)
Say hell yeah (hell yeah)
This is love, this is love, this is love
x x x
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