So, here we are, a week away from departure. Not going to lie, am absolutely bricking it, but as was said to me earlier this week - it would be weird if I wasn't. So, yeah. Currently by myself at home as everyone else went to the sister's graduation. She's done well for herself, even gotten into King's College for her masters. Very proud. And that's all I'll say on the matter, because my position as little sister really doesn't offer the capacity for being nice. It's unconditional love, she doesn't need anything else from me.
Went to Thorpe Park this weekend - was wicked. See, look, I used a bit of bold there, to emphasise just how awesome it was (and again!) But it was a horrible time of morning to even be up, never the less be driving along the motorway and nevertheless be sat in a queue (well, technically stood). Plus, I hadn't managed much sleep the night before, as I sat and watched Girl With A Dragon Tattoo with the famalam, and for whatever reason, I couldn't get the rape scene out of my head. So yes, I had bum rape on my mind when I went to sleep, like most people do when they head to bed.
Less worried about the bum rape now. Tomorrow, am going in the morning (after getting up at some godforbidden hour yet again to walk the hound) to get my tarot cards read. I'm up for it, because I do have some kind of belief in those sort of things, but really now that I have started to sit and think about it (and will probably go to sleep thinking about it too now), I just wonder if it is going to make me think over things EVEN more than what I already do. Damn, I honestly hate being a worrier, but when I'm not worried, I'm worrying that I should be worrying about something, which means that evidently I have forgotten something and that I'm going to get in trouble for not remembering it and oh god, it goes on. But, I also can't see the harm in it and I'm more than curious to find out what will be said this time (one was given to me when I was younger, you're not meant to have one until your 18, but this was probably a drunken gypsy or something, she said something about someone dying and it happened, gradually, later on, so yeah, intrigued).
My forgetfulness and apparent 'changing mind' is causing issues for people at the moment. Let's just get one thing straight - I am not an elephant (I may be the same size, but looks are deceiving after all) and my memory is nigh on useless. Someone can tell me that we are doing something and unless I'm reminded prior to it happening, I can guarantee that I will forget this. It's not me being rude or 'avoiding' people. I have the memory of a hole ridden sieve (by that, I mean that there are extra holes in the sieve - I am well aware that sieves do have holes in...don't panic). As for 'changing my mind', I never agree to anything, I always, always, always say 'I'll see what I can do' or 'I'll let you know'. And people need to stop thinking that it's just them. Everyone gets it. But then to guilt trip ' 'Oh, I cancelled something for you' or 'We may never see each other again', all that crap...Now, that really doesn't work with me. I already feel bad enough as it is if I have forgotten or if I 'change my mind', don't set out to make it any worse, because in addition to making it worse, it only gets me angry and here we are. Me ranting to strangers.
I suppose it's better than ranting to the ghost that I am now sure is in the house this evening. I keep seeing shadows out of the corner of my eye and they're too big to be the cat or the dog, so yeah. I've shut my bedroom door. They can't get through doors. At least, not my bedroom door. And if they did, well, I'm not the most elegant sleeper, so it would be a backfire situation, because then they would be haunted by seeing me. So, ha. Win for the mortal/alive/non-ghost people.
I'm better, so much better now
I see the lights touch the light?
Were together now
I'm better, so much better now
Look to the sky's
Give me live
Were together now
We've only just begun
Hypnotized by drums
Until forever comes
You'll find us chasing the sun
They said this day wouldn't come
We refused to run
We've only just begun
You'll find us chasing the sun
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